Today I had a great conversation with a great friend. We were discussing the obsession that most moms feel to sort of compete with other moms. Not in a "I want to be better than her" way but in a "I don't want my child to be missing out" sort of way. Now that facebook/blogs/twitter/instagram/etc. are so popular it has made this even worse since you constantly see what other moms are doing for their children. And dang that pinterest for throwing more ideas into the mix!!
I try so hard not to compare my life with others, but it's hard at times. I remember spending 6 months preparing for Caroline's first birthday party. I put so much time, effort, and money into making that day picture perfect. It was wonderful and I thought it would go down in best first birthday party history. Shortly after Ann Parker was born another little girl I know turned one. Her first birthday party was probably nicer than most weddings. In the height of my post partum crazy new mom hormones, I spent two days crying. How could I have let Caroline down? Why wasn't the party I planned even bigger and better?? Now that I am past the craziness of those hormones, I can clearly see that Caroline's party was perfect. She had a great time. Adam and I had a great time. Our friends and family had a great time. It was a success in every way and I am very proud of how it turned out. My friend and I talked about how it's not uncommon for moms to feel like that though - to feel like what we are doing isn't good enough.
We all highlight the good moments in our lives. Our trips to the zoo, trips to the park, playdates, Christmas mornings, etc. We give off the appearance that we have a wonderful life full of perfection. While I do have a wonderful life full of love and smiles and fun, it has some frustration, stress, exhaustion, and a whole lot of mess thrown in there too! Here's a little glimpse of our "real life." I am doing this so I can look back and give myself a reality check when I need it. Maybe someone else reading it will feel better about their own messes at times as well.
While my girls have closets full of nice clothes and tons of hair bows, Caroline spends most of her days without clothes. She has learned how to undress herself. Fun stuff... Also, she has more toys than she needs yet she spends her days taking things away from Ann Parker. Here she is without clothes laying in AP's rocker. She's watching Mickey, which is why she is so focused. Why is she still watching Mickey? Daisy got out of the yard and into our neighbor's trash. She ate some rancid food that made her sick and she threw up 12 times all over the rug and our carpet. I had lots of cleaning to do so Mickey to the rescue.
3:30 pm...bed still unmade.
I had planned on folding this laundry this morning, but Ann Parker spit up while we were walking by and it somehow landed on the clothes...so back to the washer they go.
Being a stay at home mom is the best job for me. Even with the tantrums, spit up, messy house, piles of clothes, no naps, etc. I enjoy what I do. I know that I only have a limited time with my kids before I send them to school and I want to have every second with them that I can. Even though I love it, it's not easy. I don't have it all together. Some days ARE picture perfect and I tell Adam that we are totally have four kids...other days are just horrible and I don't know how I function with only two. I wouldn't trade it for the world, but sometimes I need a little break. I know I am so guilty about only putting the happy and pretty stuff in the blog. While that is part of my real life, it's not all. These messes, naked kids, vomiting dogs, and dirty clothes are also part of my real life.
1 comment:
Perfect post. I totally agree- we do highlight the great things and rarely share the struggles . We all need to do better with that :)
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