After C's afternoon nap she has a hard time waking up. She's always a little sleepy and likes to sit and rock with me for a few minutes before she fully wakes up. It usually only lasts about 4 or 5 minutes, but I love those precious few minutes. I really feel that she needs me. I know she does need me - I change her, bathe her, feed her, entertain her, and fulfill all those types of needs, but in those few minutes she's like a sweet newborn who really needs her mommy and not a toddler whose independence grows every day. Today I went into her room after she woke up. I scooped her up and we went to sit in her chair. As soon as I sat down, she wiggled to get down and ran out of the room. I waited a few seconds before getting up. I walked into the living room and there she was - toys in hand and ready to go. She had run out to get her new foam sword and a few other random items (she picked up the sword at Target the other day and since it was the first time she "asked" for something I got it). I bent down and attempted to give her a hug. Denied. She was too busy playing with her stuff. That's when I felt it. My little girl no longer needed me to comfort her as she woke up. She's big enough to do it for herself. I felt an amazing sense of pride - at only 13 months she's incredibly independent and eager to learn and try new things. I want my girl to make friends easily and I want her to be comfortable on her own. But I also felt sad because I realized that I would not have Caroline as a little girl forever. She's growing up and today I could really see that. It hurt knowing that I would not be able to have this moment forever. Rocking her every afternoon has become such a ritual and I didn't think that it would come to an end so soon.
I know the point of having children is that they grow up. There are so many wonderful things that cannot happen unless she grows up. We wouldn't experience having other children, watching her first dance recital or soccer game, taking her to Disney World, and all those other amazing things. I am raising a child, after all, and not maintaining a child. I know it will be wonderful, but why does it have to be this fast?
**I wrote this post last Friday and as of today (Tuesday) she still has not wanted to be rocked when she woke up. She really did outgrow that!
A few of her favorite things...foam sword, Daisy's harness, mylicon bottle, raspberry teether. You know, just the normal stuff.
Adam and I thought this was hysterical. She carried around the sword and mylicon for hours.
She's really into holding lots of things lately.
Her Monday post afternoon nap things to hold - a fly swatter and the whisk attachement to the stand mixer. (Sorry for the blur, she was running!)
No comments:
Post a Comment